Flight from San Francisco to Newark was delayed. Got in at 2 a.m. Did laundry, packed, finished up some work - 6 a.m. Have to leave the house by 9 a.m. Sun is up.
Needed to share... I've been disturbed recently by the thought that much of my motivation for going on this trip is selfish. Shouldn't the ideal be an overwhelming passion for the people or more importantly, for God? Am I falling into a consumeristic mindset of testing the water to see what suits me?
If so, I hope that changes. I shan't beat myself up; that is often just an exercise in self-pity or -sufficiency. I don't know the clean theological answer, but I do think this struggle is necessary. If we are motivated by an overriding emotion for the people, that fades and so may our effort. If we are serving to find our niche, that too is too weak a motivation to sustain our effort. If however, Christ and His glory captures our imagination, passion and motivation, there is no separation between the love for others, us being "satisfied" and God being glorified.
In short, time for me to stop filtering my motivations and let God be God. It is He alone that convicts, He alone that changes and He alone that sustains.
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