Me

I just had dinner with a college buddy. We talked about the ups and downs of work, and ended up with: "How can we possibly live a meaningful life in corporate America?" It's hard not to go through each day feeling like a drone... looking forward to breakfast, coffee, lunch, coffee, coffee, dinner, NBA playoffs.

Since I returned from Nepal (and got sick), I've had this weird sense of guilt. I constantly feel like I should be doing more - sending out e-mails, setting up meetings, taking the initiative, etc. After all, I received so much and have been so blessed. Oddly enough, that guilt makes me do even less. In my perfectionism, I end up giving up because there is just so much that can be done. That overriding guilt is like the proverbial piano teacher - constantly smacking my fingers and telling me how awful I am. I actually had a piano teacher like that.. she had brown teeth and awful coffee breath (Jeanette can validate this).

God created pharmaceutical companies (arguable) and He created consulting companies (even more debatable). There MUST be a way to live a victorious life as a traveling pharma consultant for His glory.

My Utmost for His Highest
We walk by faith, not by sight —2 Corinthians 5:7

For a while, we are fully aware of God’s concern for us. But then, when God begins to use us in His work, we begin to take on a pitiful look and talk only of our trials and difficulties. And all the while God is trying to make us do our work as hidden people who are not in the spotlight. None of us would be hidden spiritually if we could help it. Can we do our work when it seems that God has sealed up heaven? Some of us always want to be brightly illuminated saints with golden halos and with the continual glow of inspiration, and to have other saints of God dealing with us all the time. A self-assured saint is of to God. He is abnormal, unfit for daily life, and completely unlike God. We are here, not as immature angels, but as men and women, no valueto do the work of this world. And we are to do it with an infinitely greater power to withstand the struggle because we have been born from above.

If we continually try to bring back those exceptional moments of inspiration, it is a sign that it is not God we want. We are becoming obsessed with the moments when God did come and speak with us, and we are insisting that He do it again. But what God wants us to do is to "walk by faith." How many of us have set ourselves aside as if to say, "I cannot do anything else until God appears to me"? He will never do it. We will have to get up on our own, without any inspiration and without any sudden touch from God. Then comes our surprise and we find ourselves exclaiming, "Why, He was there all the time, and I never knew it!" Never live for those exceptional moments— they are surprises. God will give us His touches of inspiration only when He sees that we are not in danger of being led away by them. We must never consider our moments of inspiration as the standard way of life— our work is our standard.