All About Jesus

God is so good. I will share more when the time comes, but I've been humbled, convicted, challenged and encouraged.

I spent some time yesterday with some associate pastors. Their knowledge of theology and their eloquence blew me away. Spent this morning with young church leaders from all over Nepal. Many of them walk days to the event. Was so humbled - it is I who should be learning. There was one moment that stood out - we were singing "Jesus, we enthrone You" and "Be to Our God" in a tight room with no electricity (more on that later) and two guitars/one drum. It was so beautiful; in all honesty, I haven't heard anything close to that in a long time. Their earnestness was infectious.

I visited an orphanage in the afternoon/evening. I was even more blown away. I started talking to one of the young pastors out here. We talked over lunch, and got to talking about helping him with support. Hearing what he goes through/has gone through/what he's currently doing is amazing; in short, he supports an orphanage with 16 girls and started a church... on top of translating duties, and generating enough income for all of this. Please pray.

Back to the title of this post. Yesterday and the day before, I felt out of place. This is stream of consciousness, so it's not going to be packaged or articulate. I felt cynical, not spiritual enough, sinful, selfish and just plain out of place. I'm the youngest on the team - the next age up is 40+. In some ways, I was getting frustrated - feeling as if I came for no reason. I sort of blew up at my parents yesterday, which was part jet lag and part frustration (...I apologized, albeit long after the fact).

This morning, I felt awful. Had a short devotion time with parents, and was reminded that it really wasn't about me. God's purposes are so much greater, and yet He's so faithful in allowing us to participate. Christ and the gospel are real - it is the power of God for the salvation of many. It's real. It's all about Him. Our lives, our efforts, everything. He paid it all, and all to Him we owe. In the end, He's really not interested in our plans, abilities or attributes. He desires our hearts - and is more interested in what we are becoming, than what we are doing. Why? His glory. His glory, manifest in our satisfaction and deep enjoyment of who He is. His glory, overflowing through us to the world. His glory, which will one day be recognized by every tribe and tongue.

Having said all this, I would appreciate prayer for the team/me in this area of putting Him first. I honestly think that this isn't a huge struggle for others on the team, but I'm trying not to be selfish. :) I do still feel as if I don't have that much to give - I should be the one learning... Really.

I'm giving a "motivational talk" tomorrow morning, and then have the youth meeting on Friday. I might speak at a service on Saturday (at the church of the young pastor I talked to)... In short, any prayer would be mucho appreciated-o.